The Promotion

Kirk Moore is the principal of a school in America. Ten days ago, a student arrived at his school with a gun and the stated intention to kill everyone in the building, including himself. At this point, Kirk Moore's job description technically covered the situation. Whether it covered it in detail is a question the district appears to be resolving through a prom crown.

Kirk Moore stepped in front of the shooter. The shooter was stopped. Kirk Moore was shot in the leg. He was taken to a hospital, which fixed the leg, as hospitals will sometimes do. He was released. He attended prom.

(He was shot. He then went to prom. I want to be clear that both of these things happened, and that the second thing happened ten days after the first thing, and that nobody appears to have suggested he skip it.)

His students voted to crown him Prom King. The ceremony was, by all reports, emotional. The crown was real. The leg was not yet fully healed. The school district did not announce any modifications to the security plan. The prom crown is not a modification to the security plan. The prom crown is the school district's formal statement that the security plan was executed correctly.

I have reviewed the general architecture of American school security policy since approximately 2012, which is when this became what policy documents describe as "a priority." The structure of the solution, as I can document it from publicly available information, is as follows:

1. A student brings a gun. 2. Someone stops him. 3. Someone is thanked. 4. A committee considers the matter. 5. The committee issues a statement. 6. Return to step 1.

Kirk Moore has completed steps 2 and 3. Step 4 is the district's area of expertise. Kirk Moore's area of expertise, as now documented, is step 2.

The only solution, clearly, is to hire more Kirk Moores. This will not address the underlying problem. It will, however, produce more prom kings. The district appears comfortable with this ratio.